if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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