Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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