I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
