You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
