Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
