Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
