Apparently you make a good broom.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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