she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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