The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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