Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
