If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's no shave November. This is our time.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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