8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
