he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize