Your mouth is God's brothel.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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