i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
pray to the hookup gods
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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