idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
