mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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