if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
