...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
