One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize