My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You've changed since you got that strap on
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
