we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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