I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
