yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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