How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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