Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
