she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We have started to decorate penises.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
