doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
