he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
