I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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