thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
