Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
