I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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