We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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