Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
