The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
