Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize