Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
