No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
