her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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