I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
