roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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