My nipple is on Facebook.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
