Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
