I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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