this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize