my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
