New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You've changed since you got that strap on
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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