We're facebook friends in real life
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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