Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
