Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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