I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
