i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
