the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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