Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
