my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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