Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
