So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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