It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
