I feel great
I just peed on a car
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
