remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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