if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
