You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
