Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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