it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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